offended or affected

Thursday, December 1st, 2011 at 2:51 am

Many moons ago (that’s my 1/8th native speak :p) I had a girlfriend say to me that the destructive relationship I was in was a self-portrait of the internal value I placed on myself. Meaning, my self-worth was lacking if I thought I deserved the destruction my bf was creating and instilling in my life.

That was a hard comment to swallow. But at that moment I had a choice. I could be offended or affected by her words. I could end our friendship based on her reveal of tough love and my offence to those words, or I could thank her for being brave enough to question my behaviour, so I in turn could do the same.

It was my call. Did I want to be offended or affected?

I chose to be affected.

That day offered up knowledge and birthed wisdom. She erected a sounding board for me, from which I could daily choose to swan dive from or belly flop off of. Every action and relationship I entered into was consciously considered, as I now understood them to be a reflection of my self worth.

Did my relationships enhance my existence or withdraw from it?

Interesting how, when you reflect only on your personal truths, it makes being affected an easy choice over being offended …it’s internally infectious in the most positive of regards.

I can’t say I find it “shocking” that so may people choose to be offended. Friendships are lost, marriages battle their end in court, churches are split, countries are divided …all based on the foolish pride to choose ones offence.

Let’s be 13 for a moment. What if we thought of an offence as a truth or dare. If you’re offended, likely there’s some truth to what’s being said …take that morsel of truth and dare yourself to address it.

I think a lot of people feel secure with the insecure. Granted we ALL have our insecurities, but this doesn’t have to cause us to be insecure. It should merely keep us humble. However, allowing the shortcomings of others to be your happy place doesn’t allow you to grow out from underneath yourself.

Wrap your head around THAT one!

Most people who know me, know that disturbia is my nirvana. Being forced out of normal into challenged is my “ahhhh”. It’s an environment that helps me create, pulling from the wreckage – if you will.

So perhaps for me, being offended or affected is my playground of opportunity to look within. Now I guess it’s up to you to find a way to take someone else’s slag (offensive comment), and turn it into personal sunshine (affected result).

Message. Delivered!