Yeah Vancouver…if you’re reading this all eyes are on you you insatiable date’ables. It doesn’t matter if you were bred here or breed here …this is the Mecca for people who date without end. The city gates should have a warning sign which reads: “WARNING: daters at play …speed limits don’t matter, you’ll never get out with an actual life partner”. Now of course that’s entirely too long of a sign and not overly welcoming …perhaps we could shorten it to simply read: “Welcome to Vancouver – you’re f*cked”.

All joking aside, I’m not joking. I have now lived in this shrinking mass of potential for 11 years, and 95% of the people I know are still single, or have settled for an unhappily ever after union of wedded ew.

Jaded? No. Bitter? Absolutely not. Hell I still consider it fun to date. I’ve got potential’itice. There’s nothing I love more than a healthy helping of potential served up on a multi-dating platter. But the fact remains; Vancouver is here to serve the daters …not the haters or the waiters (people who wait you out hoping to land an actual long-standing relationship). If you wanna enjoy everything this city has to offer …expect to enjoy everyone who’s in it also. It’s a buffet of singles served with a side of perpetual daters and the kitchen is open 24/7.

Perhaps this reads as the gateway to hell for some, and for others it’s potentially the pearly gates of their happy place. Either way it is what it is …and what it is is a city of insatiable date’ables.

Technorati Tags: 11 Years, City Gates, Dating, Fun, Gateway To Hell, Haters, Life Partner, Mecca, Pearly Gates, People, Play Speed, Relationship, Vancouver, Waiters, Warning Sign

Sometimes the quickest way to break down the core of someone you’re dating is to break up with them. Not recommended, of course, as a way to “test and see”, people shouldn’t be toyed with in that manner. In addition, keep in mind that, depending on how long you went out with this person, real feelings are at play and: fear, hurt, disappointment, regret etc…can all play into someone acting out due to those negative emotions surfacing. However, if someone TRULY cares about you, and I mean to your core …they will do so within or without the relationship. Seeing you happy should still be important, and even though they may have “lost out” for the time being, most people should have the maturity to weather the storm …because perhaps it’s more of a “waiting out the storm” scenario. The “it’s not you its me” line, on occasion, is true.

However, if the person you broke up with turns a rain storm into a hurricane and adds to the storm instead of calming it in some capacity, it’s likely you won’t want to offer them your umbrella. More likely you’ll choose to allow them to sulk under their own storm cloud and splash in their own pity puddle. People just need to breath. Reflect on what’s important to them. Appreciate what they had with the other person, and respect the core character traits that drew them together. Allow life to unfold as it should and NO MATTER WHAT …if you’re doing the right thing, you WILL be happy.

Perhaps finding the right thing requires the “wrong” thing to step out of your path. Or perhaps the right thing just needs to right some wrongs and make straight their own path before proceeding. Whatever the case may be, maintaining your cool and not breaking down after a breakup is key in ever having the potential to start again.

Technorati Tags: Character Traits, Core Character, Disappointment, Doing The Right Thing, Hurricane, Maturity, Negative Emotions, Rain Storm, Real Feelings, Relationship, Storm Cloud, Storm Scenario, Umbrella, Waiting Out The Storm

Most “mature” relationships tend to get complicated all too quickly. Heading into your late-twenties and beyond, people simply have more baggage, criteria, expectations, lists and agendas …which leaves no room for the easy ride simplicity -and dare I say- “ignorance” usually offers. Knowledge lends itself to a heightened awareness which can sometimes blow because it’s like you ruin your own surprise party simply because not a lot can get past you. Ignorance is bliss that’s for damn sure.

Returning from whence you came can, on occasion, be your wisest choice of action. The innocence of youth can bring with it a fun filled dating experience. Let’s face it, when serious issues arise too quickly it puts a damper on the enjoyment factor of dating. Granted you want to be on the same page, heading in the same direction, but I think far too often people try to attack serious topics before they’ve had a chance to enjoy the person instead of delving straight into the package (so to speak).

Enduring expectations is something which is more likely to happen after two people have invested enough time to care. Presenting your expectations prematurely will most definitely take all the fun out of the getting-to-know-you process. Ease up and try the easy route to happy …you might be surprised at how returning to simplicity just may be the secret to relationship success.

Technorati Tags: Agendas, Bad Relationships, Damper, Dating, Fun, Heightened Awareness, Ignorance Is Bliss, Innocence, Lot, Mature Relationships, Relationship Success, Simplicity, Surprise Party

This past Canada Day long weekend my ex’s came out in multiples. The universe is a bit of a jokester that way, and she didn’t even serve them up in random order, rather they all came in perfect sequence from my million-dollar-men era.

First stop…the beach. Sun is setting, waves are lapping, and the hum of a Porsche approaching calms my road-trip ravaged nerves. A quick visit from a “how can we be lovers if we can’t be friends” friend, quickly had me reconnecting with the friend I always appreciated, but hadn’t seen in what turned out to be 5 years. Apparently the “lovers” portion of our friendship was why. Who knew you shouldn’t mix friendship with pleasure? The only memo I got was the one about business and pleasure. Added mental note.

Then it was off to the play paradise of my ex, circa 2003. To be honest, this is a guy I thought I would marry. I did not substantiate this information with enough time and exposure however, and it quickly became apparent back then in ’03, that my conceptual wedded bliss was a bedded blunder. This was a lesson not well received, but hard learnt. I fell hard, and crashed even harder. No regrets, and 7 years later he had a chance to tell me he didn’t treat me the way I deserved, and enough time had passed that I could respond it was his time and place in life. Ironically enough, he’s essentially at the same place I left him when we met the first time, just the numbers have increased. Divorce #2 pending, child #3 in the wings, and increased wealth pouring out of every perfectly placed shingle in his resort style demi-mansion for 1. Sadly his latest manicured maison was built with money, not love. That kind of foundation always crumbles.

To top it off I had my other two ex’s, who completed my millionaire era, making subtle threats of reappearing. Interesting that this fancy foursome all surfaced at the same time. Hmm…

What have I learnt from my past presenting themselves in the present? That full pockets don’t always amount to happiness. Rather what I saw was full pockets and (still) empty hearts. Neither love nor happiness can be bought; I think we all have heard of such rumors. Not that any of the above were attempting to do so, but making the point that rich or poor, our basic needs are still the same…and we seemingly succeed and /or fail at them equally. Sure it might seem as though the rich prevail, but the “love” they think might be surrounding them, is just the clutter they have to drill through to find the real gems.

As for me, I’d like to think I’ve always maintained, …that even though my pockets aren’t quite full, my heart always is.

Technorati Tags: 3f, A6, Alwa, Beach Sun, Blunder, Business And Pleasure, Canada Day, Divorce, Dollar Men, Empty Hearts, Foursome, Friends Friend, Jokester, Millionaire, Nerves, No Regrets, Pockets, Porsche, Resort Style, Road Trip, Shingle, Time And Place, Waves, Wedded Bliss, Wings

I’ve never been the type to think that the wealthy simply struck it rich due to the luck of the draw; rather I’ve always believed that wealth is something you yourself can attract. There are so many ways in which people stumble upon money, I don’t think throwing a dart and calling it luck would really land you a bulls eye.

Take, for instance, women who marry into money. Was that luck, or was that opportunity and preparedness meeting? Ah yes, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again …destiny isn’t about worlds colliding at the precise mili-second creating your woohoo moment, rather (I believe) that destiny is when preparedness and circumstance meet.

Timing is everything, and I could say that through the years it has seemed as though my timing has perhaps been off, but then that would also require me to negate all the truths of my encounters, careers, and friendships gained during this “off timing”. Even though not everything makes sense as of yet, and I wonder at why certain things haven’t come to fruition, I think there’s a better answer than off timing.

I think the universe simply knows me well enough to have the good sense to stagger my windfalls. I’m the type of person that, if given everything I want, it no longer appeals to me. I way rather work for something and then be rewarded for my efforts. Anything less is just…charity. I don’t want to be given the access of what someone has, rather I want to be honoured with what little they don’t, and appreciate the sacrifice it required to give it. I’m not talking poverty and penance and slaving to survive…I’m talking about deserved vs expectant.

Women who marry for money are a different breed. I haven’t entirely figured out a gold-diggers philosophy in life, and that’s probably due to the fact that there is none. Shocking.

My previous post was about my millionaire-men era, which might have given the illusion that I am motivated by money, of which I am not, nor do I seek out men like a meal ticket. I’ve never been impressed by money, but I have always been intrigued by it. No matter if it was men or women acquiring such wealth, I wanted to know how. Of course women by nature want to be “taken care of”, but not always in the “gimme gimme” sense, rather in the sense that we know we can rely and depend on our man to do what it takes to make our dreams come true …big or small. And we in return, will also do our due diligence in our dream-making duties.

I’ve walked away from many a man waiving the golden ticket…because at the end of the day I much prefer love over money ♥

Technorati Tags: Bulls Eye, Charity, Circumstance, Dart, Destiny, Different Breed, Expectant Women, Friendships, Fruition, Gold Diggers, Good Sense, Illusion, Luck Of The Draw, Millionaire, Penance, Philosophy, Poverty, Preparedness, Sacrifice, Tick, Windfalls

I personally don’t like heavies, ultimatums or titles of any kind, but after hanging out with a certain dude for a month I feel that the desire for mutual respect has now come into play for me. To be honest, since meeting him I haven’t had the usual desire to seek out anyone else, I mean I’ve been open to it, but not actively participating in it, which is a strange reality for me. I’m truly intrigued and interested in this one… a guy who manages to wow me in some capacity daily is not to be taken lightly in the world of Princess Lana Love.

I always say I only expect as much as I offer, but in this case I’m actually in awe that someone could exceed my expectations. I raise and eyebrow when wondering if it can be maintained, but also applaud him for his instant success with maintaining and constantly increasing my interest. He’s way fun. Accomplished. Focused. Adventuresome. Fearless. …and a bunch of other admirable shi*. Check.

I’m of course awesome …society has established that :p But (there’s always a but), when mulling over the thought of “respect” and what that means as it pertains to me …I also have a little guy who requires the same respect. Sometimes stand-up guys have a romantic notion of stepping in as a superhero, which is the case with this particular guy. My “lived-it-and-it-aint-always-pretty” reality check cautions me that he will be tested by his notion…constantly. Because in this case it’s not just about mutual respect but a trilogy of respect.

All that being said, when my dating life comes to “crunch time” I always remember something which was said to me about 8 years back. It was so simple, yet so poignant – both then and still now. I was multi-dating as per usual, and one of the guys I had been seeing for about a month said to me: “I’m either worth it or I’m not”. And sitting there at Kits Beach, being presented with such an empowering statement on his part as he recognized his own worth and challenged me to value that or step aside, I in turn gave my head a shake at what – to him – seemed like disrespectful actions on my part to be multi-dating. Recognizing the male-clutter I had surrounded myself with and appreciating the person who sat in front of me my answer was simple – “OF COURSE you’re worth it”.

I dated that guy for 3 years, and to this day love and adore him to his core, but with no desire to be with him (for deal breaker reasons)…just entirely respect him as the amazing human he is. He taught me much and his lessons were thankfully not lost on me.

So today I had to again give my head a shake after anxiety set in at the thought of this current more-than-crush running around on some dating spree. The open knowledge of him flirting, his sport of grabbing numbers, and the hunt I know we both enjoy…all this has now come to effect me in a negative way …simply put it makes me feel like I’m not worth it. I can’t and don’t judge him because that’s also what I do and how I conduct myself (flirt, numbers, hunt), but it obviously doesn’t feel the best to think of yourself as an “option” and not a priority. It makes you wonder when you’re being ignored for another or simply because life gets busy.

To me trust is the only definitive thing which keeps people together – whether that is with your friends, family or in a relationship. For me it’s an absolute that absolutely has to be there. If it’s not, or if it’s lost …so is the relationship …without question.

Even though I’m against labels, I’m entirely into respect and integrity. If you’ve read my blogs you’ll likely know that I hold myself to a high standard when it comes to not cheating …which includes not cheating myself from what I know I deserve, and also not cheating on or with anyone, as I deem that the ultimate disrespect in life.

Being a participant in your own game is weird …finding a worthy opponent to participate with you is wild. I guess the final question everyone eventually has to ask is actually more of a statement: I’m either worth it or I’m not.

Technorati Tags: 8 Years, Awe, Desire, Eyebrow, Instant Success, Kits Beach, Lana, Love, Mutual Respect, One Of The Guys, Priceless, Princess, Reality Check, Romantic Notion, Strange Reality, Superhero, Trilogy, Ultimatums

…is one of my favourite quotes up to this point in my existence. It can be used in all areas of life and should not be taken in a tone of cocky arrogance, but rather content confidence that you can’t force people to like you. You can only be your best you and cut your losses with whomever isn’t cool with that.

Regardless of if it’s a job interview, meeting potential friends, or dealing with the dating scene …it all carries the same relevance when it comes to the fact that you can’t change who you are. You should definitely GROW who you are always and forever, but your personality and core character traits are pretty much set in stone.

Often people begin to freak out once they meet someone they’re really into, fears of dismissal begin to surface and people begin to display various forms of fear-based self-preservation. It’s human nature to want to be liked and/or respected, but it’s not human nor natural to be a chameleon. Leave that to the lizard world to change their colours to fit their environment …we need to stay true to who we are and represent that proudly. Altering yourself to fit someone else’s agenda, expectations, or criteria, will not be a lasting modification; rather in will wear on you until you finally fade back to your true self.

Why squander their time or yours. Time is too precious to be spent on those who don’t respect and appreciate you for you. People have to stop freaking out that their like/lust/love interest might not dig them….because there’s simply nothing you can do about that, and there are too many people who will value you for exactly who you are in this very moment. If you’re honestly being the best you can be without revealing too much too soon, or withholding the same …then that’s all there is my friends.

With so many clichés out there (whatever’s meant to be will be, only time will tell, let the best (wo)man win) …the one I adhere to most which breaks agendas down to the truest of truths is simply: if you like me great, if you don’t – great!

Technorati Tags: Agendas, Arrogance, Chameleon, Character Traits, Colours, Core Character, Fears, Freak, Human Nature, Job Interview, Lizard, Lizard World, Love Interest, Lust Love, Personality, Potential Friends, Relevance, Self Preservation, Set In Stone, True Self

Setting your own bar in the dating world can backfire if you have set that bar too high to continually and consistently sustain. Most choose to go about dating under-promising and over-delivering (if you’re lucky), which allows for the opportunity to occasionally surprise …keeping everyone happy at an attainable pace. Those who blow you away right out of the gate have a hard(er) task ahead of them as expectations are already elevated. If you instantly shock and amaze, and then bail in any capacity, boredom can quickly set in, as the output wanes to a lesser input. And boredom can cause, well …mayhem.

Don’t get me wrong, wowing someone will get their attention for sure, but weaning them from that wow can have an adverse effect. Unless a girl has a strong grasp on life (her own in particular), and doesn’t need to be fed the “wow” on a consistent basis, she’ll be content in knowing she’ll be wowed again …and again …but maybe just not as often as initiated. However, if the wow was what snagged her and she has no backup plan or life agenda …she might pull a PO’d routine for, what would seem like, a bait and switch on his part.

Guys wow differently than girls. Girls lure with our good looks and (possible) personalities, and then (for some) once a guy is in, they pull a bitch and ditch. Why? Cause its part of the game. The “get” is “it” for them. The “got” just simply doesn’t have the same rush. Guys (again, some) will wow us with their can-do attitude, plans of plenty and gifts o’ grandeur…and then once they bag you, leave you begging for more …the tit for tat tease.

How can you have it all? Simple. Play the same game. Now when I say “game” I don’t mean play with someone’s mind or emotions, but know how to get what you want by giving them what THEY want also. Find their trigger points and blow them away …pow, bam, bang! It keeps everyone on their toes dodging bullets with ammunition they themselves handed you.

This type of shooting range can be exhilarating, and can keep a relationship quite fresh and alive because it’s all about attending to others’ needs and wants, while still getting your own addressed. So if you want to set the bar high …great …we love it. Maintaining that bar is the key …because man, woman or child, if you’re spoiled and then that’s removed …temper tantrums aren’t far off …and screaming is only pleasant in certain environments. Ballee dat!

Technorati Tags: Adverse Effect, Ammunition, Backup Plan, Bait And Switch, Bam, Boredom, Consistent Basis, Ditch, Dodging Bullets, Emotions, Girls Girls, Grandeur, Grasp, High Jump, Mayhem, Personalities, Play The Same Game, Pow, Toes, Trigger Points

Bed makers are a rare breed, so when you find a dude who actually makes his bed it causes you to take notice. Why? Well because it tends to be a trait which branches off into other areas of a guys life as well. Boy bed makers, from what I have gathered over the years, are the ones who understand and attend to the details. They’re the guys with the liquid soap which turns to foam when you push the dispenser, the guys who have a spare toothbrush for just-in-case guests, the guys who have your favourite drink stocked in their fridge at all times, and “emergency” candles around for ambiance. Simply put, guys who take care of their own shi* will likely also know how to take care of you…in every way.

Ok sure, that might be a bold statement glomming together males planet-wide based on their bed making skills, but I have experienced no flaws in my theory thus far in life. I would even categorize the bed makers in with the flossers. Yup, history has also proven that guys who make their beds are also flossing those pearly whites due to their amazing and hygienic attention to detail. It’s great. Truly. Two thumbs way up AND a high five on this one.

So next time you meet a cute guy who seems like he may have potential, take a peek into his bedroom, if the bed’s made… *BAM*… throw down your sack and bag that kid. Two words of caution though …”mom” and “cleaning lady”. If either of those women have access to his room and have in fact been the ones participating in the making of the bed -run- this one has issues I can’t even get into via blog.

Sweet dreams

Technorati Tags: Ambiance, Attention To Detail, Beds, Bold Statement, Cleaning Lady, Cute Guy, Emergency Candles, Fridge, Liquid Soap, Mom, Pearly Whites, Peek, Rare Breed, Shi, Sweet Dreams, Those Women, Toothbrush, Words Of Caution, Yup

There are so many opportunities one could miss if they’re not looking or open to them, and it makes me wonder how long it takes for such opportunities to come around again? Because I truly don’t think we only have one chance at “happenings” in life, otherwise nothing in life would make sense …it would just be random happenings which wouldn’t matter one way or another if they came to fruition, regardless of anything you did or didn’t do your life would go on as normal. BAH I say!

Life is too grand a gift to be random and void of meaning. Call me a dreamer, but I think every act in life resounds within this water-logged world. Imagine, if you will, that each of us is an atom in the body of this planet, and the health or sickness of our planet is dependant on how productive and conscious we as a people are. That the energy each of us contains as individuals is enough to impact earth and the ebb and flow of our own lives within that.

As it pertains to the dating world (because we all know that’s where it always comes back to with me!) I see all the chances I’ve had/taken, opportunities to go out and mingle, to exchange glances and phone numbers and occasionally …lives. I’ve been blessed, and I love the journey life has given me as I proceed to “destination unknown”.

Most recently I wrote about an outing where the atmosphere was alive with 24 year olds. There was one in particular who had enough 24-year-old guts to take me dancing, and be enough of the alive and vibrant human he is to quickly capture my attention. Since then there have been no games …just the enjoyable sport of dating.

Many factors could have come into play, which would have caused that tiny little event not to happen. I could have decided not to go out that night because a few poopers bailed. Those of us who went could have decided to go home early because the crowd was beneath us in age. I could have blown off dancing with this particular guy …or refused giving him my number …or not responded to his texts. Instead, 3 weeks in and turns out this kid is someone to take notice of. None of which could have been guessed based on age.

Now I use the term “kid” in jest of course …he is all man by definition of maturity and aptitude in life. Zero doubt about it. Refreshing actually from the older yet less-wiser, less-thoughtful, less ….well just LESS sorts I’ve dated in the past.

It could have very well been another 24 year old that made it happen for himself that night. I was sitting directly beside another guy that particular evening, and we chatted off and on…chemistry, attraction …the whole bit was there, but it was clear he wasn’t bold enough to ask for a dance let alone a number …and his opportunity was missed (and I will no longer deal with a boy masked as a man, so didn’t bother asking him for his info). Will he feel this was a missed opportunity? Doubtful. How long will it take for him to meet someone as awesome as me (insert noticeable smirk here) …unknown.

If you’ve ever read the Missed Connections either in the Georgia Straight or on Craigslist, you’ll read about these so-called “missed” connections. But were they really missed or just failed attempts at basic human interaction? I vote F!

Most of us struggle to get that “hello” out from our throats and into our mouths …instead we avert our gaze for fear of …well, fear. At the end of the day I think I rather breath a sigh of relief at my “phew” attempts than my lost attempts.

Technorati Tags: Atmosphere, Atom, Crowd, Dreamer, Earth, Ebb And Flow, Enjoyable Sport, Fruition, Games, Guts, Health, Journey, Love Life, People, Phone Numbers, Poopers, Random Happenings, Would Make Sense