Designed For DatingDesigned For Dating

The leading lady or the best friend

Lana! — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 05:40:00 +0000

I find there are many “types” of women out there, but when it comes to the good ones, the real keepers… they package themselves far too easily into the best friend mold. They want everyone to find love, and often overlook their own future findings in order to make a match for friends, relatives, and all other single humans they may encounter.

So this year, why don’t you take your “best friend making self” and transform “you” into “she”…the IT woman… the leading lady. This isn’t an undertaking, it’s an OVERtaking. Hold yourself to a new standard, create new energy, command (don’t demand) respect. Take the lead in your own personal life. Hop in the drivers seat and LEAD by example.

Capish?

*HUGZ* and big success in 2010!

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Sandbox behaviour aint sexy

Lana! — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 04:40:26 +0000

Remember when you were a kid (ladies) and the boys would pull your hair, gross you out by picking their nose and show you the results, or call you various “I know you are but what am I” kind of names? Ah yes….true love sandbox style.

Then you grow up, and you hope that these slimy, smelly, name calling boys would have too, only to discover that the sandbox is now just a cleaner, larger, corporate version. Separating the boys from the men is sometimes more about getting the boy OUT of the man.

Hair pulling is a pleasure in some settings (wink wink nudge nudge)…, but attempting to get someone’s attention, or show them you’re interested with boyish antics is a bad idea if the person your pursuing has any level of maturity.

So come on boys…let’s be men here…even gentlemen perhaps. Be polite. No name calling. No childish tantrums for ridiculous reasons. Clean up after yourself. Have a career you’re proud of, and take charge (not to be confused with being controlling)!

The “balls” are in your court…game on!

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Technorati Tags: Antics, Bad Idea, Balls, Court Game, Discover, Gentlemen, Man Hair, Maturity, Pleasure, Sandbox, Sexy, Tantrums, True Love, Wink Wink Nudge Nudge

All of my favourite things

Lana! — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 04:01:44 +0000

Christmas …a time to reflect on who and what is important….and rightfully so Taking stock of what matters most to you is paramount in attracting exactly what you want.

I had a conversation with a friend today about relationship deal breakers. He was entertaining the thought of moving further into a relationship, only to find out the person he was pursuing did not want to have more children. He then had to decide if this would alter his life in a negative way, or if it could be an allowable exception to the relationship without causing too much personal and/or lifestyle damage.

I told him, what he has to really ask himself is what his deal breakers are. Deal breakers are normally made up of things which alter the CORE of who you are and the direction your convictions are most fulfilled. If a deal breaker is presented, and you think it will cause you to live less of a life, or worse – make you less of a person…by no means should you move forward with this.

I was in a relationship for 3 years and was entirely in love with that person, and had to recognize the deal breaker which presented itself. It would have ENTIRELY altered my life and the children we would have had, so as much as it KILLED me (and him) at the time, it was a deal breaker which would not have made for a harmonious union. I would have had to become less of a person, and deny my convictions, and this was not a healthy option.

I think a lot of people choose to accept things which require them to change their core. Which, consequently, makes them become unhappy, and experience many unfortunate battles within their relationship because of it. Instead of the alternative, which is to be alone …often just for a time and not for the perceived “eternity”.

For most, the very thought of pursuing life solo sends them reeling and they stay, die a little inside…and forever dwell. Please, for the love of YOU…know your value, boundaries, convictions and deal breakers. Live healthy, love fully! Thank you

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Technorati Tags: 3 Years, Boundaries, Christmas, Convictions, Deal Breakers, Eternity, Favourite Things, Harmonious Union, Healthy Option, Life Solo, Lifestyle, Love, Moving, Relationship, Taking Stock

six degrees of desperation

Lana! — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 21:44:35 +0000

We’ve all had it in us, we all desire it, some give it better than others, and some experience it often…it’s that little four letter word known as Love.

It’s a scientific facts that humans (and most animals) require love to survive. If you take a newborn and leave them alone, only giving them the nutrients they require, but no snuggles, hugs or love of any kind…they will die. It’s also been said that humans require 8 hugs a day in order to function at their optimal best.

So clearly we have all been made to love and be loved. Finding it, however, is seemingly the 8th illusive wonder of the world. At least, finding the right combination of love, desire, chemistry, and compatibility.

That’s where we find the six degrees of desperation…which may include, and vary by individual as per below:

6. Open to dating as it presents itself
5. Seeking a relationship possibly through online dating, and blind dates orchestrated by friends.
4. Aligning your social calendar to attend every singles event from Thursday-Sunday weekly
3. Arranging to meet and marry someone from other countries
2. Grabbing people off the street, in grocery lines and some washrooms
1. All of, and not limited to, the above

From the dawn of (religious) man, even Adam was not happy to be alone despite having the world to himself. So if you have it all, but you have not love…you suck! Lol…KIDDING.

Desiring love, and desperately seeking it are two very different things and represent separate types of people…remember that. There’s nothing less attractive then desperate, needy, jealous people. Love freely, and be open to those who WILLINGLY love you back.

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2010 …oh the anticipation!

Lana! — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 16:54:40 +0000

Don’t you just love a fresh new year? It’s the dawn of a new era where you can reinvent and challenge yourself to be more than you ever were before (insert Rocky music here!). Sadly most will fail at such feats, but it’s all about the potential of what COULD be eh?

Ideally, most people should start their new years resolutions 2 weeks prior to new years as it generally take 14 days to instill or break a habit….and what do you know…today is exactly 2 weeks out!

Get on er boys and girls. I know I know…with all that Christmas baking, and mounting chocolate boxes beneath your tree, it becomes seemingly impossible to defy temptation. BUT, as long as you’ve attempted to try, you have a head start on the head games you’ll have to play with yourself to actually utilize the new fandangled “this-n-that” you purchased in attempts to get your sagging butt in shape for the new year!

Envision what you want this 2010…and achieve it dammit! Apparently we only have 2 more years to live after this (google 2012) …so hell, let’s make it count kids!

Much love.

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Technorati Tags: Anticipation, Attempts, Boys And Girls, Butt, Chocolate Boxes, Christmas, Christmas Baking, Dawn, Feats, Google, Habit, Head Games, Head Start, Hell, New Era, New Year, New Years Resolutions, Rocky Music, Shape, Temptation

Surviving singledom over the holidays

Lana! — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 16:47:29 +0000

Being single isn’t a “bad” thing by any stretch of the imagination, but it seems that over the holidays, hangin’ solo can really put a damper on Christmas parties, and New Years events. Most will even opt out of a party if they know they won’t have a +1 attending alongside them.

Searching for mistletoe becomes a new Olympic sport as men and women alike sprint and/or dive beneath it’s branches in hopes of a lip lock from random strangers. Then as New Years rolls around less than a week later…your elbows are armed and ready to cut through the crowd into the arms of the nearest hotty once the clock strikes midnight.

But in the end, when the mistletoe has been recycled, and the confetti has fallen…the new year begins baby fresh…and those who fell into something without much thought for more then a cuddle, will likely find themselves sittin’ single by Valentines. And then…a whole new game begins with that fat cupid kid!

This Christmas be a proud single, surround yourself with great friends and family, and set your sites for what you TRULY want in a partner. Because lets face it, you can only receive it once you perceive it!

Merry Christmas my fellow singles…naughty OR nice!

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keep them on their toes…or their knees…this is the question

Lana! — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 22:11:53 +0000

The art of intrigue is an endless task of tantalizing the opposite sex in such a way that they remain on their toes awaiting your next move. The manipulative mask of having someone beg for your time or affection is another form of intrigue some feed off of also.
I’ve said it time and time again that it’s human nature to want what you can’t have. Often when someone finds a person of true depth, character and shared chemistry, they put this person in a death grip and don’t want to let go of their new found find.
INSERT ANNOYING BUZZING SOUND HERE because that is the WRONG thing to do! Please, and I do mean PAH-LEASE – do not strangle the good people!
One of my friends emailed me desperately stating he wants out of the dating pool immediately after multiple bad experiences. His most recent date (last night) called her mother in the midst of the date, declaring how cute their children would be.
GAG. SPEW. PLAH! Ladies…please…there are so many sirens going off in this mans head after what you simply thought was just a “cute” comment to your mother, it’s rendering him deaf!
I get it…the good ones are few and far between. I hear the stories repeatedly.
My other good buddy also had a recent experience where the girl was literally screaming and crying (first date btw) asking him why he didn’t like her. This was normally a professional, nearly 30 year old, attractive woman, suddenly struck by insanity when this good catch (my friend) was seemingly indifferent to her and not wanting to pursue a relationship.
Striking it rich with a good guy or gal is great…but don’t render yourself worthless when said good guy/girl isn’t interested. It’s all personal preference and timing. There were various reasons why these men didn’t “want” these women, and it largely had to do with the honest to goodness “its not you its me” syndrome.
Above all else – know you’re worth…and don’t sell out to the first “great” stranger who comes along.

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kiss and tell

Lana! — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 00:52:11 +0000

Kissing is an important part of making a connection when it comes to dating a person of interest. However, if you’re entirely attracted to someone but the kiss is off, it can quickly turn hot into not!

There’s also such a thing as kissing too soon. If the moment is off, and the build up hasn’t been created…diving in for the big smooch can land in a disinterested, and less than enthusiastic lip lock.

Better to leave someone yearning for more, then to steal a quick peck and ruin what could have been a steamy pucker.

Restraint and build up adds to the charm of a potential Prince Charming. People really need to learn to read body language more. It makes up 80% of what people may or may not be saying.

So next time you’re deciding on a smooch…look for smooch indicators.
-is she holding your gaze?
-leaning towards you and not away?
-receptive to touch?
…seriously, if you answer no to even 1 of those…DON’T DO IT!

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Three… no longer a crowd?

Lana! — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 00:41:56 +0000

When it came to relationships of the past, three people usually meant one too many. Now it’s a sign that the party is just getting started! Threesomes seem to be a popular activity for a lot of duos these days. Adding another contestant to the game can spice things up nicely if the rules of engagement are clear. Some would call it risky to fall into the entrapment of a ménage trois, but if trust has never been compromised, and love has always been paramount…adding another to the mix can be plausible play.

Then there are those who would argue that this is the furthest thing from love. I’m neither convinced of it, nor deny the idea because I think that keeping a relationship alive and fresh takes more than just normal activities. It’s work and…it’s play!

Who created “normal” anyway? When it comes to your relationship you choose your fun, fate and finality of it all.

Have fun, play safe…and above all else, respect, honour and cherish your partner at play!

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Cocky does not = Confident

Lana! — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 16:56:44 +0000

Its unfortunate people have to live in order to learn. If you could fast track people’s ability to grow and absorb knowledge, the wise would rise, and the ignorant would diminish. Often men misconstrue a cocky attitude for a confident demeanor. Nothing is further from the truth. Having a cocky attitude is a clear indication of insecurity, immaturity, and the lack of confidence in actually knowing who you are and what you believe in.

It’s been my experience that when you truly have something (such as money), or truly believe in something (way of life, religion, calling etc), or respect and care for other humans regardless of their differences, you don’t need to declare, demand or denounce anything or anyone. Rather, it’ less about what you say, and more about how you live and the reflection you give of yourself to others.

Often it’s the people who really care who will know you best, and you won’t/don’t worry about all the other random folk in terms of impressing them with pointless cocky “confidence”.

I’ve really come to appreciate those who have quiet confidence, and can easily spot the instability, and insecurity of those who have to shout above the crowd to get the “respect” they think they deserve.

Remember that wisdom is the APPLICATION of knowledge. LIVE LOVE LAUGH.

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