Child rearing has got to be one of the most amazing highlights and challenging hardships combined. I always said it takes 50% patience, 40% creativity and 10% distraction. Add to that an additional 100% energy and you have the percentage needed to parent for the next 18 some-odd years.

I was listening to the author of “Have a new teenager by Friday”, as he spoke on a local radio station, and he said something worth sharing. “Children shouldn’t be given ultimatums, or asked permission (by their parents), they should be offered options with clear boundaries topped with a heaping helping of fun and laughter”.

He went on to say that his generation was raised in the “do it because I said so!” era. Now children are being raised in the “are you ready to go to bed yet Sally?” era, and children are so confused and led astray by their lack of boundaries and much needed guidelines.

What if we as adults had to go into a workplace where we had no clear job description, no set lunch hour, and an unclear code of ethics, do you think as a human race the majority of us would pull it together and get it right? Anarchists seem to think that type of society is capable of existing. From my personal point of view, in a society that runs itself on selfishness and boundary-less lifestyles …I vote no.

Understanding ones child seems like a daily learning experiencing, and being in tune with their talents, gifts, struggles and hidden fears, are just some of the considerations an active participant parent considers.

The term “supervised neglect” has never left my mind after hearing a father describe his ex-wife’s parenting style. Clearly a parent is not at the beck and call of their child, with the main objective being to entertain. But being cognoscente of the “who when what where how’s” of a child should definitely be parenting 101 …not just in the starting phases of upbringing, but continually revising and revamping those incites as you go.

With my son, I always felt that, if saying no would have to be followed up with a “because I said so”, than it wasn’t a valid “no”. Children don’t always need to know the details of rules, but they should be offered an age appropriate explanation, and then leave it at that.

“Have a new teenager by Friday” seems to have a lot of ideas and concepts that my mom raised my sister and I on. She was ahead of her time and I’m thankful for the strong and brave example she gave me as a parent, which I can now lend to my own parenting skills.

Good parenting doesn’t happen by default, you have to “gear up” to rear a child, through books, articles, learning from other successful parents-turned-grandparents, soak up knowledge and gain parenting “power”. And remember, most importantly – to laugh!

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Technorati Tags: Boundaries, Child Rearing, Code Of Ethics, Cognoscente, Distraction, Fun And Laughter, Hardships, Hidden Fears, Job Description, Local Radio Station, Lunch Hour, Main Objective, Neglect, Parenting 101, Parenting Style, Personal Point, Selfishness, Set Lunch, Ultimatums, Upbringing

Passion is such a lost human trait in today’s laissez-faire society. Hipsters, with their androgynous style and careless -albeit cultured- attitude, are a prime example of people “caring that they don’t care”. This subculture of men and women typically are in their 20’s and 30’s who value independent thinking, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter.

Hipsters reject the culturally ignorant attitudes of mainstream consumers, and are often don vintage inspired fashions, tight-fitting jeans, old-school sneakers, and thick-rimmed glasses. They want to be obscure, but are blatantly recognized in their cultural indifference.

I walked into a bar a few months ago with wall to wall hipsters. Their thick-rimmed stares didn’t hide their distain for my “seemingly” conformist (AKA stylish) sense of fashion. I guess one could say I was a cultural reject in their eyes.

Why does the culture of today insist on appearing as though they lack passion? Indifference seems to resonate loudly with the youth of this era. North American culture lacks passion in general really. It is a prevalent mindset to be passé and so commonplace that anyone outside of this narrow-minded realm is perceived as odd.

Trends, whether intended or not …are still trends. By being a non-conformist, you are my definition – conforming. It seems that originality and passion are a foregone notion. It seems incredibly difficult if not impossible to come up with a unique idea.

Our ability to Google absolutely everything, takes away from what we think are our own discoveries …or worse – ripping off other peoples’ discoveries. Perhaps that lends itself to a society which gives up before they even try, thinking it’s all been done before (shrug).

Clearly there are MANY passionate people out there. This is not the tale of the sky falling onto unfertile land. Rather it is to say …who cares what’s been done, what’s being done, and who is saying it’s cool. Create your own cool …it’s up to you to bring YOUR passion back into fashion.

Here’s the recipe to achieve greatness …start where you are, use what you have, and do all that you can. Own it. Live it. And definitely – be passionate about it!

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Technorati Tags: Discoveries, Distain, Fashion Passion, Google, Hipsters, Human Trait, Indifference, Mainstream Consumers, Mindset, North American Culture, Originality, Prime Example, Shrug, Sneakers, Stares, Subculture, Thick Rimmed Glasses, Tight Fitting Jeans, Wall To Wall, Witty Banter

Being out of control of ones life seems like a scary notion. An image of a swerving vehicle comes to mind, heading straight in the direction of disaster. To think your life could swerve into oncoming doom makes you want grip tightly to your life’s circumstances, in hopes that your safety and happiness will be secure.

There are definitely ways to better ensuring your degrees of disaster in life are lessened. Example: Entering into relationships where you recognize someone as being volatile from the start should be a red flag. People don’t change; only circumstances do …usually not for the better with unhealthy individuals. Being in control of your life, you will discover, is not so much about controlling your world as it is about shaping it as you go.

Choosing your friendships from pre-school straight into the business world is step one. The cliché “you are who you hang out with” rings true for many reasons. Friendships might not always mirror your strengths, passions and lifestyle choices verbatim, but they should -in the very least- encourage and strengthen them.

Keep in mind that sometimes we are brought into peoples’ lives to be THEIR mentor. A guiding post to try and relay our thoughts and experiences to them. It’s an opportunity to see if your choices have led you to the right results, or if your advice is more inline with your desire to do right, instead of your choices to actually do so.

Life has a way of offering us lessons, and it’s up to us to heed and learn them, and by doing so – shape our lives

Patience, compassion, perseverance, honesty, letting go—all these things are possible results from lessons in life. Patience to allow your friends to go through the necessary life experiences to hopefully grow. Compassion for those who perhaps have not yet arrived at the place in life where we’re at. Perseverance to stay the course, work the job, withstand the relationships obstacles of life. Honesty …this is a big one, there are so many opportunities in life for those little white lies. This is an area of constant testing rest assured. Letting go …also difficult, whether it’s a living friend who you have to let go because their lifestyle choices are destructive and unchanging, or a dying relative you have to let go into the peace of another place, or even the dream job you worked many years building up. Letting go is a learned art, not to be mistaken for walking away and hoping the feelings of loss will resolve themselves. Letting go, I believe, involves forgiveness. Of others, and yourself.

Stepping out from the desire to control your environment, into a place where you aim to make right choices and turn away from bad decisions, is the process one can take to better shape their destiny. Controlling anyone or anything is not our right, nor a healthy stance. Allowing what is and accepting what isn’t is key in feeling right with the world, in addition to taking the steps necessary to learn and grow, will help your preparedness and circumstance meet.

Shape it ‘til ya make it!

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