Life can seem both daunting and repetitive at times. A Crystal Light commercial comes to mind where a woman is in her office setting and keeps stating her routine as “day in day out”. Suddenly when she changes her water to a flavoured drink, life takes on a whole new perspective.

Perspective being the operative word. I think often times we focus on the negative “day in day out” perspective, and conclude the positive to be a side dish that life offers in various servings when we “deserve” it.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Although there may be aspects of ones life they might not enjoy, they can still reflect on the positives that will, by default – force the negatives to take a back seat. Changing your perspective brings external circumstances and turns them into internal realities.

One of my friends sent me a comment: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit”. In the same token, our joy is based on what we repeatedly think about. Not only is it easy to reflect on the negative, but to those “realist” it also seems necessary. “How can we solve a problem if we don’t think about a solution”, would be their argument. True, this isn’t a “sweep your problems under the carpet” mentality, rather a “whatever is lovely, pure and of good report …dwell on these things”.

Dwelling on something and dealing with something are vastly different prerogatives. Usually if you dwell on a positive outcome, your negative circumstance will suddenly bring to light a solution. But by focusing only on the problem, the solution may never come.

We can all look back with regret in our lives. I’m sure each and every one of us could admit to something they wish they had never done, or something they wish they had. Either way, regret can consume ones heart. If it’s something you can make up for, do so. If it’s something you can’t, forgive yourself. Life’s lessons are not only brought about though positive channels, but can also have an even greater impact and life changing experience if we turn a negative experience into a life altering decision.

This past summer I participated in what I can only describe as a near death experience. For the next couple of months I was consumed by fear from this choice, I didn’t know how to fix it, change it or undo it. Then one of my friends said that I should take that fear and thank it. That I should be grateful that my choice led me to a place I would never choose again, and then every time fear brought its creepy thoughts and dark moments, to remind that fear of the gift of knowledge it had given me.

Wow. Empowering. After 2 months of terror, from that moment on I was able to embrace the gift this experience had brought with it, and turn darkness into light. So whatever your circumstances are, don’t allow them to create your reality. Turn what seems to be a powerless situation, and turn it into an empowering one.

I think people have two motivations in life. To gain power or to be empowered. Both types will “rage against the system” holding rallies and creating protests, either to feel powerful against a society who seemingly won’t listen, or to feel empowered about a cause that has impacted their life. The difference between the two, is that a person seeking power is likely doing so based on fear …they want to gain their outer world because their inner world is weak and without form. Whereas those who seek to empower themselves, take fear and embrace the lesson it taught them.

Colour your reality with vibrant beauty; don’t allow fear to paint your life’s portrait with its limited shades of grey. After all, you’re life is won by one – you. It’s up to you to make your choices …and with so many fun colours in the crayon box – why choose grey?

Much love ♥

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My heart broke today after reading a story of a two year old little girl who got hit, not once but twice in China by two different oncoming vans. It went on to say that for an unconscionable span of 7 minutes, over 18 people walked by …either oblivious or indifferent to the shattered body of the little girl dying on the street. Finally a man went and picked her up, but she later died of her injuries.

How have we become so resigned to our surroundings that this incredibly devastating accident could go unnoticed to so many for so long? How many of us will hear this story, silently sob is disbelief but continue on with our self-absorbed lives? Clearly the majority of us will read this and feel sickened, but there will be a teeny tiny percentage of who will actually take this information and actively look to make better choices in our daily lives. To aim for conscious living, being aware – not of our surface surroundings, but of the deeper issues going on despite us.

Did you know that a child dies of some form of abuse every 4 days in Canada? We see the atrocities on the news of other countries and how they treat their citizens, but barely a murmur is uttered about our own indiscretions within our own country.

Having a child who I live and would die for, I can’t imagine witnessing or being privy to any knowledge of abuse without making strong and clear action against it.

But it’s my lack of “knowing” which concerns me. How can I become more conscious of my surroundings and be a participant (not a busybody – fine line) in the wandering lives around me. How can we ALL become more conscious? Media definitely bombards us and creates a diminished sense of reality. Our “feelers” are turned to mute so that the information overload we’re subjected to is no longer heard. Unfortunately it’s still felt. We internalize this information and by doing so externalize our lack of empathy in a subconscious way.

Consciousness consciousness consciousness. I can’t stress this state of being enough. Not as a sermon being preached to the cyber world, but as a reminder to me to open my eyes and my heart to those around me. Meet the neighbours. Greet the people I encounter. Strike up conversation on the playground. Get off the phone and start being an active participant in life. We only have once chance at it after all.

The time stolen by technology will not be returned …not a micro-bit of it. Don’t be going on a treasure hunt at the end of life looking for it’s lost meaning.
Life’s treasures are stored up for you in the here and now, and it’s up to us to daily discover these “lost” treasures.

We should not have to live in a world where the tiny treasure of a two-year-old baby girl goes unrecognized. She was born with worth regardless of the lack of value 18 peoples (unknowingly) put on her life. The conscious world recognizes her worth and morns her loss. May the angels raise her well in a place where only love is known, and may she eternally enjoy her new playground paved in gold!

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Having a, or better yet – THE title, is socially imperative in today’s culture. I remember at one particular company I worked for, people would nearly bribe the boss to get a “better” title. A Sales Rep wanted to be an Account Executive, a high ranking Account Executive wanted to be a Senior Account Executive …and on it went. Doctors, lawyers, pastors, dentists, friends, partners, mothers, fathers …these are just some of the titles individuals gain either in accredited universities, or earn via the hard knocks of life.

But not all “like” titles are created equal. I was recently discussing with a friend how most men are simply allowed to be dads (some exceptions apply of course, and I’m proud to know those dads) while women are generally expected to be super moms. The career woman, the events coordinator, the educator, the disciplinarian. We’re the ones who find the daycares, the schools, the sporting events, the music lessons; we plan the birthdays and the play-dates, the family vacations and the day trips. We cultivate friendships for our children’s sake. We run a household and balance the checkbook all amidst the aforementioned …in yet, if you remove “career woman” from that long list of duties, suddenly the title “mom” seems lacking to the upper echelon of society.

Only now, as I find myself “unemployed”, have I considered my title “Mom” as an important calling and a valid mission. Hell, I AM a CSO, a CFO, a President, and Manager …what other title is there beyond God, which trumps mom? Tell me …I dare you

A couple years back I remember checking out a promotional companies website, and the owner of the company had his name below his picture, and underneath that he didn’t give himself a business title, but rather a life title. Dad.

If only we put our “life titles” ahead of our credentials. If we fail our children but succeed in business, at the end of life – what have we gained?

Why does society put such an emphasis on our career choices and validate the title we receive on our business cards, but overlooks our parenting skills and our child rearing accomplishments. Ever notice a well-mannered, well-behaved child? Yes, you likely did because so many other children are quite the opposite …rude, tear up the town terrors! We have a society filled with misfits because we’re a working class society who has little time for our offspring, sadly.

Of course there are many success stories of rag to riches children who grew up in an absentee household and flourished in spite of it all. There are a lot of moms and dads roaming the earth, some choose to parent while others opt for supervised neglect. Parenting, as with anything, is about progress not perfection, it’s a daily test in any and all areas one would think they could be tested.

If we gain the world but have not love (family), it’s all in vain. I guess if you revere your title, your promotion is a daily occurrence of tiny successes.

Signed,
Mom

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