This Summer I enjoyed a wedding reception 2.5 years in the making. One of my closest male friends married a girl he had met in the gym, who – upon first meeting, had called me to announce she was the girl he was going to marry.

Was it a case of “love at first sight”? Or perhaps the ominous “when you know you know”? Mmh …I would say more like keen interest combined with lust. Whoever came up with “love at first sight” was likely a woman. I don’t think there’s a man on this planet who would cite such a phrase, but would agree their sight is based on lust not love.

So despite this declaration of my friend stating she was the “woman I’m going to marry”, this twosome spent the next 2.5 years moving in and out of relationships, while maintaining contact strictly through the gym. Until the day the timing was right and the moment was now.

Even then, their budding relationship was questioned initially with fear. “Does she really like me?” played on my friends head, and backing out was a consideration. Lucky for both, they stayed the course and discovered that, although their fears were mutual, thankfully so was their interest.

Lust grew to interest, interest grew to knowing, knowing grew to understanding, and understand grew to love.

So when an assortment of my friends tell me “when you know you know” …I question that “knowing” phase being different for everyone. Sure there’s a strong interest, but that has to be backed by valid points, viewed lifestyles, varied situations, …and then the validated “knowing”.

For those of us who think too much, “knowing” is a never-ending phase of learning. If we feel we ever know, we pick up and continue to learn. So “knowing that we know” that we’re with the “it” person …well, takes time to consider, grow, and affirm.

Love at first sight is neither possible nor plausible. Love requires complete selfless participation. Rock on with your lust at first sight. Carry on with your “knowing that you know” for your psychic few …but for the rest of us… let’s get to know whomever we’re with before sending out our invitations shall we?!

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The mirror of life tends to have bad lighting no matter the angle. It will show you without prejudice, every internal scar, stretch mark and blemish you might not have known you had. However, if you’re willing to truly take a look at what’s staring back at you in the mirror of self-reflection, maybe…just maybe …one could grow.

For me, having friends who have the ability to reflect on their inner strengths AND weaknesses, is an integral part of our relationship. Having the ability to be introspective, and with it – humble, is a rare quality. I think everyone has the ability to attain and grow this strength, but few do.

Why? Because it’s a meek characteristic. Ironically, meekness is required to BE meek. Or at least the apt willingness to do so. It’s having the personal leadership to say, “I don’t know it all, how can I grow”. Instead of “I have it all figured out, look at me”.

Shining is an important part and/or result of introspection, so don’t mistake meek for “shy”. It’s been said that; “the meek shall inherit the earth”. That’s a comforting quote to those of us who don’t like to shout above the crowds for our recognition.

“The meek shall inherit the earth” …I would love to delve into that quote (actually a biblical verse) more and know why that was said. In my opinion, I would think that, because the meek are defined as “humble”, they likely would inherit the earth because they don’t squander their power as an outward assertion, but rather utilize their power as an inner reflection. Thus creating someone who is open to receiving what he or she SHOULD instead of what they CAN.

Hmm …perhaps I just answered my own question! Food for thought for even me. Now go …self-reflect ☺

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Relationships are a daunting project in compromise, combined with that perfect mix of lifestyle choices, commonalities, chemistry etc. But let’s face it, when you’re into someone, you’re just into them. Warts and all. In my hefty dating life experience I know one thing to be true, you’re either in or you’re out. And when you’re in, so much of what you’d normally be “out” for, somehow gets the hall pass.

Same goes for friendships. It’s hard to find that rare combo package that comes with all the refreshments of an overpriced movie theatre concession stand. However, unlike the lack of value you get re-mortgaging your house for a trip to the theatre, a bff of true proportions definitely outweighs value to cost.

As you grow older, you have more life experiences to share with family, friends, and that special someone. As such, you tend to surround yourself with the type of people who best represent and enhance who you are, and challenge and encourage who you still strive to become.

However, static in relationships is the common denominator we all share. Static is often first thought of as radio noise. That annoying sound representing dead air between stations. Static is also defined as something being “still and unchanging”. In a relationship setting, it is an amalgamation of both descriptions really, bringing with it quiet chaos in various forms. Sometimes our friendships have noisy bouts of fighting between our channels in life, requiring us to sift, shift and refocus these friendships. While at other times it’s the quiet moments which might be challenging. Friends who have moved apart from one another and can’t grab a coffee or share a dinner …a fight of the mind. This is a challenging “mind over matter” scenario as presence is such a big part of any partnership.

But in the end, if you’re into them you’re into them. Friendship and relationships alike, we will bob and weave the jabs and jeers of our 1 (wo)man crowd, and endure the silent treatment of distance that divides us. Because – after all, a bff or a true love is so rare, that you embrace what is …and understand that the rest is just static.

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Technorati Tags: Amalgamation, Annoying Sound, Bff, Bouts, Common Denominator, First Thought, Friendships, Jabs, Jeers, Life Experience, Life Experiences, Lifestyle Choices, Man Crowd, Mind Over Matter, Movie Theatre, Perfect Mix, Quiet Moments, Radio Noise, True Proportions, Warts