Learning the art of “ignoring” can be a beneficial tool when dancing the dating dance. Anyone worth knowing, usually knows they’re worth knowing, so if someone who has expressed interest all of a sudden begins to ignore them, ironically it will pique their interest.

Healthy? No. Helpful? Well yes …works every time.

No matter what, even in committed relationships, there is an element of cat and mouse. It’s human nature to want to be sought, and to seek. So when there is no longer a chase, or something to catch …we grow bored and, potentially …wander.

Again…I’m not saying this is perfectly healthy, but I’m giving “the bliss in ignore” some validity for those of you who think being all in ALL the time is cute and comforting for all involved.

If I have someone’s full attention at my whim, that’s too much power being held in my little recovering-princess paws. I shouldn’t expect to hold the keys of life and death to someone’s “whole’ness”. Rather, anyone in my life should have enough self-respect and introspective to maintain their precious time accordingly. Doting can sometimes be daunting for both involved. It should be an occasional treat, not a consistent pursuit of the other persons’ happiness

I guess the long and the short of it is, don’t ignore people out of ignorance, but out of self preservation …and, of course …to increase interest as needed.

So if you find me ignoring you …it’s just because I really really like you

You’re welcome!

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Breaking up always has it’s “he said she said” side of the story and neither are usually the whole truth and nothing but the truth. “Spin” is used in the media all the time, and although it’s frowned upon, it’s the acceptable form of lying. Spin is when you simply spin the truth. White lies if you will. So when breaking up, doctoring the spin so it shines in your favour seems like the right things to do. No?

If we post blame on the other party and don’t acknowledge our own faults in the relationship breakdown, aren’t we just doing ourselves a disservice? I think that people come into our lives in order to help us learn and grow, and if we don’t learn and grow from “X”, we’re going to have “Y” come into our lives as a reattempt to get the point across, followed by “Z’ if we still refuse to heed the lesson.

“You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge” …and if you’re unable to acknowledge what needs changing, perhaps a spin to the doctors (counselors) would behoove you.

Behoove …look it up

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When using a definitive such as “never” one must respect the fact that this is a word much like “always” …whatever you’re referring to when using these words, start and end with that word. “You always” or “you never” is most likely a lie. Humans are not consistent enough to “always” or “never” do this single thing which you’re likely blaming them for.

Or what about the comment: “I’ll never love anyone else”. Well that’s just ridiculous. Of course you will, and although it may be a different kind of love, the love will still be there, just formed and/or displayed differently.

One of my favourite quotes ever from a near and dear friend: “forever is never when forever is ending”. Dismal I know, but wreaking of truth. So many people promise forever, and frankly, I don’t think that’s a promise we should necessarily make to one another. It’s confining, and conforms humans into a reality which most can’t endure.

What’s the alternative then? Open ended honesty. Growth without limits. Time without timelines. Boundaries with open-ended borders.

What if our commitments to one another sounded something more like this:

“I desire to love and accept you at each stage of our lives, to learn and grow around you, in hopes that our inspired and inspiring existence mutually benefits one another’s life cycle, and that our motivations to one another can be invested with eternal value in mind.”

Exhale. Wow. Liberating thoughts when considering friendships and relationships alike.

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