Many moons ago (that’s my 1/8th native speak :p) I had a girlfriend say to me that the destructive relationship I was in was a self-portrait of the internal value I placed on myself. Meaning, my self-worth was lacking if I thought I deserved the destruction my bf was creating and instilling in my life.

That was a hard comment to swallow. But at that moment I had a choice. I could be offended or affected by her words. I could end our friendship based on her reveal of tough love and my offence to those words, or I could thank her for being brave enough to question my behaviour, so I in turn could do the same.

It was my call. Did I want to be offended or affected?

I chose to be affected.

That day offered up knowledge and birthed wisdom. She erected a sounding board for me, from which I could daily choose to swan dive from or belly flop off of. Every action and relationship I entered into was consciously considered, as I now understood them to be a reflection of my self worth.

Did my relationships enhance my existence or withdraw from it?

Interesting how, when you reflect only on your personal truths, it makes being affected an easy choice over being offended …it’s internally infectious in the most positive of regards.

I can’t say I find it “shocking” that so may people choose to be offended. Friendships are lost, marriages battle their end in court, churches are split, countries are divided …all based on the foolish pride to choose ones offence.

Let’s be 13 for a moment. What if we thought of an offence as a truth or dare. If you’re offended, likely there’s some truth to what’s being said …take that morsel of truth and dare yourself to address it.

I think a lot of people feel secure with the insecure. Granted we ALL have our insecurities, but this doesn’t have to cause us to be insecure. It should merely keep us humble. However, allowing the shortcomings of others to be your happy place doesn’t allow you to grow out from underneath yourself.

Wrap your head around THAT one!

Most people who know me, know that disturbia is my nirvana. Being forced out of normal into challenged is my “ahhhh”. It’s an environment that helps me create, pulling from the wreckage – if you will.

So perhaps for me, being offended or affected is my playground of opportunity to look within. Now I guess it’s up to you to find a way to take someone else’s slag (offensive comment), and turn it into personal sunshine (affected result).

Message. Delivered!

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Child rearing has got to be one of the most amazing highlights and challenging hardships combined. I always said it takes 50% patience, 40% creativity and 10% distraction. Add to that an additional 100% energy and you have the percentage needed to parent for the next 18 some-odd years.

I was listening to the author of “Have a new teenager by Friday”, as he spoke on a local radio station, and he said something worth sharing. “Children shouldn’t be given ultimatums, or asked permission (by their parents), they should be offered options with clear boundaries topped with a heaping helping of fun and laughter”.

He went on to say that his generation was raised in the “do it because I said so!” era. Now children are being raised in the “are you ready to go to bed yet Sally?” era, and children are so confused and led astray by their lack of boundaries and much needed guidelines.

What if we as adults had to go into a workplace where we had no clear job description, no set lunch hour, and an unclear code of ethics, do you think as a human race the majority of us would pull it together and get it right? Anarchists seem to think that type of society is capable of existing. From my personal point of view, in a society that runs itself on selfishness and boundary-less lifestyles …I vote no.

Understanding ones child seems like a daily learning experiencing, and being in tune with their talents, gifts, struggles and hidden fears, are just some of the considerations an active participant parent considers.

The term “supervised neglect” has never left my mind after hearing a father describe his ex-wife’s parenting style. Clearly a parent is not at the beck and call of their child, with the main objective being to entertain. But being cognoscente of the “who when what where how’s” of a child should definitely be parenting 101 …not just in the starting phases of upbringing, but continually revising and revamping those incites as you go.

With my son, I always felt that, if saying no would have to be followed up with a “because I said so”, than it wasn’t a valid “no”. Children don’t always need to know the details of rules, but they should be offered an age appropriate explanation, and then leave it at that.

“Have a new teenager by Friday” seems to have a lot of ideas and concepts that my mom raised my sister and I on. She was ahead of her time and I’m thankful for the strong and brave example she gave me as a parent, which I can now lend to my own parenting skills.

Good parenting doesn’t happen by default, you have to “gear up” to rear a child, through books, articles, learning from other successful parents-turned-grandparents, soak up knowledge and gain parenting “power”. And remember, most importantly – to laugh!

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Technorati Tags: Boundaries, Child Rearing, Code Of Ethics, Cognoscente, Distraction, Fun And Laughter, Hardships, Hidden Fears, Job Description, Local Radio Station, Lunch Hour, Main Objective, Neglect, Parenting 101, Parenting Style, Personal Point, Selfishness, Set Lunch, Ultimatums, Upbringing

Passion is such a lost human trait in today’s laissez-faire society. Hipsters, with their androgynous style and careless -albeit cultured- attitude, are a prime example of people “caring that they don’t care”. This subculture of men and women typically are in their 20’s and 30’s who value independent thinking, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter.

Hipsters reject the culturally ignorant attitudes of mainstream consumers, and are often don vintage inspired fashions, tight-fitting jeans, old-school sneakers, and thick-rimmed glasses. They want to be obscure, but are blatantly recognized in their cultural indifference.

I walked into a bar a few months ago with wall to wall hipsters. Their thick-rimmed stares didn’t hide their distain for my “seemingly” conformist (AKA stylish) sense of fashion. I guess one could say I was a cultural reject in their eyes.

Why does the culture of today insist on appearing as though they lack passion? Indifference seems to resonate loudly with the youth of this era. North American culture lacks passion in general really. It is a prevalent mindset to be passé and so commonplace that anyone outside of this narrow-minded realm is perceived as odd.

Trends, whether intended or not …are still trends. By being a non-conformist, you are my definition – conforming. It seems that originality and passion are a foregone notion. It seems incredibly difficult if not impossible to come up with a unique idea.

Our ability to Google absolutely everything, takes away from what we think are our own discoveries …or worse – ripping off other peoples’ discoveries. Perhaps that lends itself to a society which gives up before they even try, thinking it’s all been done before (shrug).

Clearly there are MANY passionate people out there. This is not the tale of the sky falling onto unfertile land. Rather it is to say …who cares what’s been done, what’s being done, and who is saying it’s cool. Create your own cool …it’s up to you to bring YOUR passion back into fashion.

Here’s the recipe to achieve greatness …start where you are, use what you have, and do all that you can. Own it. Live it. And definitely – be passionate about it!

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Technorati Tags: Discoveries, Distain, Fashion Passion, Google, Hipsters, Human Trait, Indifference, Mainstream Consumers, Mindset, North American Culture, Originality, Prime Example, Shrug, Sneakers, Stares, Subculture, Thick Rimmed Glasses, Tight Fitting Jeans, Wall To Wall, Witty Banter